This section of the website basically consists of random fashion related blog nonsense. Our own little slice of the intergalactic Internet superhighway before the UK descends into some sort of futuristic Mad Max style bedlam where everyone just goes around looting and smashing stuff up. No doubt at that point in time, probably around the year 2015, the Internet will just get used as a Big Brother 1984 style State controlled media outlet, giving updates on which areas of the country are safe to venture into without fear of being doused in petrol and burnt alive for the latest £100 phone, which within a week will be outdated anyways. Cretins.

The blog section on handbag violence is definitely a worth a gander as it deals with the best techniques and strategies to use when you need to wield your handbag like an axe during some grimly predictable physical confrontation on the streets of the UK. When I used to play the 'Streets Of Rage' on the Sega Megadrive as a youngster little did I know that the cartoon violence onscreen depicting barbaric acts of unrestrained and unrequited violence would become a reality. Until CS gas and handguns become legal in the UK every woman should know how to use a handbag as an offensive weapon so as to avoid the regular and unwanted trips to the Accident and Emergency Department on Friday night outings to the Fox and Hound. Loads of hints and tips in this section, a great one being - remember what mother used to say, 'when going batting, forget satin.'

The blog section on the 'The Rubik Cube' handbag is perfect for any fashionable ladies who would like to add a touch of uniqueness or geekiness to their everyday lives, especially if they work in an environment where they have to dress all conservative and grey. As Jez said to some boring gimp in an episode of Peep Show, 'your dream, is everyone wearing grey, riding the grey bus, and eating grey sludge, that's your dream, isn't it.' Well, here is your opportunity to sock it to those grey walking zombies getting on the bus everyday going to their dreary offices and munching on their grey sludge!

BLOG POST - 1ST AUGUST 2011

Kim Kardashian was seen last month looking just peachy at some airport in New York called JFK or something. Lovely Kim was seen carrying her Chanel quilted flap bag, priced at around the £2,200 mark. The designer handbag market makes up around 5% of the overall £5.4 billion pounds worth of handbags sales per year. The average price paid for a handbag is in the £20 to £35 price range. But what about the people who pay £1999 for a handbag, what is it about designer bags that drives some of us to question whether the mortgage payment is really important this month? Crazy, crazy people.

The current economic worldwide crises seems to have done little to dent Chanels confidence in its products as the brand recently announced 15% price rises across the board. It would seem their answer to navigate the choppy financial waters is to simply raise prices, that old textbook response. With Chanel handbags it seems to be a supply and demand type of situation which drives the prices up, not many of these bags are being made and this tends to keep the demand and price high. Most stores sell out of their Chanel handbags fairly quickly, even prices on ebay tend to be higher than the original retail price.

The usual arguments for the ridiculous prices of these bags are mainly that you are paying for luxury goods, with better quality materials, handmade sometimes, craftsmanship, expertise et cetera. The other side to the argument is simply that whilst the quality might be marginally better and the product might last a little longer, the main reasons are the advertising costs and fees paid to celebrities and models to endorse the brand and the expensive cocktail parties with the tables lined with cocaine and dwarf waiters carrying the pina coladas.

How can the handbag on the left be worth £2,200 and the handbag on the right be worth £9.99? On the £2,200 leather handbag, was the cow gilded and did its hooves never touch the ground, did it receive daily massages before it became a handbag and a lampshade? Will it hold up any better to the abuse the ladies dish out to it on the London underground when they are hustling and bustling around avoiding tramps and ticket inspectors. Each to their own really when it comes to buying expensive handbags, I suppose as long as you aren't getting into debt to pay for an overpriced item, who cares!

According to some random statistic robbed from the Internet, the average handbag now weighs 3.31 pounds. On a bit of side note, did you know that the Nazis invented the Internet in the early 1930's but kept it locked away in a secret vault. Himmler persuaded Hitler to put it on the backburner whilst they got on with the tedious process of world domination. Hitler thought it would be a useful propaganda tool but Himmler knew otherwise, he fully anticipated that it would be used primarily for the perusal of pornography. Anyways, back to the matter in hand, obviously having a lightweight handbag has its advantages, but have you ever thought about the disadvantages. Well, one of the most obviously glaring disadvantages in having a lightweight handbag is that when the time comes for ultra cartoon type violence, you are gonna come up short and in turn will probably be taking a long ride to the local Accident and Emergency Department as the Youtube video below demonstrates. I apologise for the lego block 1980's style Amstrad graphics.

These Russian grannies pumped full of the cheapest vodka available clearly demonstrate that when the time for violence arises, be it because of an insult or some other form of disrespect, then a heavy oversized handbag is the key. Also, the video demonstrates that the material of the handbag is of great concern when fighting. Most women will carry beautiful evening bags when they are going out to an evening party to have it large. They want to look classy and glamorous with the accessories they bring which are matching with the outfits they wear.  It is spectacularly important for women to choose the right bags with the right outfits to show up to the evening party and look glamorous whilst they down pint after pint of Stella and chain smoke.

If you are choosing the bag for an evening party, you should consider the most appropriate materials of the bag. You can choose from satin, leather and silk materials but obviously bear in mind that blood, vomit, spit and other fluids might be extremely difficult to clean and might stain. If you know a good ole fashioned tear up might take place at the local boozer then just stick with the tried and tested leather evening bags. Remember what mother used to say, 'when going batting, forget satin.'

In addition to the weight of the handbag and the material, the video also demonstrates that strategy and technique are key to winning a handbag fight. The blue handbag lady clearly demonstrates the attack, block, attack, block technique over and over again and in fairness, it clearly works. If the handbag was weighted with bricks then the red handbag lady would most definitely be in a world of hurt.

BLOG POST - 1ST JULY 2011

Here is a Rubik's cube that is truly unsolvable. While the handbag uses all the Rubik's Cubes colours as would be expected, it has mixed them up. Personally I find the scrambled look of the Cube to be a lot more cooler than the monotone flat all one colour handbags normally seen, maybe because my childhood was filled with loads of unsolved Rubik Cubes sitting around,  as well as all the usual sadness, beatings and recriminations. The vivid colour on the Cube face means that the handbag will spruce up almost any outfit you wear and adds a little zing to any fashionista's style. These Rubik Cube handbags are about 7 inches wide and the top unzips and opens with a little hatch door, and theres plenty of room to store your wallet, make up phone, mace, et cetera.

The Rubik Cube handbag is perfect for any fashionable girls who would like to add a touch of uniqueness or geekiness to their everyday lives, especially if they work in an environment where they have to dress all conservative and grey. As Jez said to some boring gimp in an episode of Peep Show, 'your dream, is everyone wearing grey, riding the grey bus, and eating grey sludge, that's your dream, isn't it.' Well, here is opportunity to sock it to those grey walking zombies getting on the bus everyday going to their dreary offices and munching on their grey sludge! As a proud owner of this handbag, I can strongly attest to the fact that its a great conversation starter for shy women. Strangers will simply approach you and ask about your handbag, usually with something dreary and predictable along the lines of whether you need any help solving it. Boring, unless of course you have a nice house, car and money in the bank.

It has been said that there is only one absolute correct answer and 43 quintillion wrong ones for Rubik's Cube. Sounds a lot to little old me but who knows, more importantly, who cares. One eighth of the world's population has laid hands on 'The Rubik Cube', the most popular puzzle game in the short and brutal history of the world. Statistics also show that 66% of those that have ever laid their hands on one have smashed them to pieces in a fit of rage. The Rubik Cube, funnily enough is named after a chap called Erno Rubik, who invented it in the basement of his fathers house whilst listening to Led Zeppelin, smoking a Doobie and watching the Fonzie chilling out during an episode of 'Happy Days.' Sunday, Monday, Happy Days, Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days, Thursday, Friday, Happy Days, Saturday, what a day, groovin' all week with you. These days are ours happy and free (oh happy days). These days are ours share them with me (oh happy days).

Super nerd Erno Rubik was born in Budapest, Hungary during World War II, his mother was a poet, his father an aircraft engineer and local town drunk who started a company to build gliders. Enro's initial attraction to inventing the Rubik Cube was not in producing the best selling toy puzzle in history for materialistic gain, but instead the structural design problem interested Rubik; he pondered whilst in the bath "how can the blocks move independently without falling apart?" In Rubik's Cube, twenty-six individual little cubes or cubies make up the big Rubik Cube. Each layer of nine cubies twist and the layers can overlap. Erno summed up his eureka thinking in the following quote - "It was wonderful, to see how, after only a few turns, the colors became mixed, apparently in random fashion. It was tremendously satisfying to watch this color parade. Like after a nice walk when you have seen many lovely sights you decide to go home, after a while I decided it was time to go home, let us put the cubes back in order. And it was at that moment that I came face to face with the Big Challenge: What is the way home?" - See kids, this idealistic child like thinking and philosophy was what we all had before Sky TV came along and brainwashed us all into wanting stuff we don't need and idolising WAGS, footballers and celebrities. Erno would have laughed out loud at the antics of Jordan, yet the youth of today want to be like her. Anyhoo, that was how the original and best Rubik Cube was invented in the spring of 1974, when the twenty-nine year old Enro discovered it was not so easy to realign the colors to match on all six sides. He was not sure he would ever be able to return his invention to its original position. He theorised that by randomly twisting the Cube he would never be able to fix it in a lifetime, which later turns out to be more than correct, he died a penniless drunk in Moscow, froze to death apparently.